NEWS ID: #1
2025-08-08 @ 16:49
Server Status: It's Complicated
C
christopher
Staff
Listen up, you degenerates.
We've successfully migrated the server to a potato powered by sheer spite and the tears of people who die in the Nether. Performance is expected to be marginal at best, which is exactly what you pay for (nothing).
Changelog v69.420:
- Lag: We've renamed "lag" to "cinematic slow-motion." You're welcome for the feature.
- Creepers: Now have 5% more anxiety. Please approach with caution.
If the server crashes, please scream into the void (Discord) rather than DMing me at 3 AM. I am likely asleep or pretending to be.
- Management